So I Don't Forget

The girls have gone to round with Brian this morning and enjoy an especially sugary breakfast in the hospital cafeteria.  I love that spending precious time with their daddy makes them so excited.  John and I are enjoying the quiet morning with the fireplace roaring and Christmas music playing in the background.  The air outside is in the mid-30s and I am thankful for the heat building up inside from the crackling fire. John is exploring every corner of the house while I watch on with a hot chai latte in hand.  I love watching his boldness and determination as he curiously examines all that he can find.  He is already thoughtful in the way he holds up an object in my direction and grunts at me as if to ask if it's okay for him to have it.  Though, like any young child learning that they have their own will, he does not like to hear the word "no", but he is quick to listen and move on to "ask" if another object is okay to use.  I love learning more about him every day.  At this time of year especially, I am so thankful that he is here, that he is thriving.  Watching his little legs crawl with much greater speed than his sisters ever had doesn't worry me that he will be into everything, but makes me thankful that his body has the strength to move his legs at all.  I am amazed at the miracle of his surgery.  That the artery in his left arm was used to make his aorta stronger.  Because of this he has no pulse in his left arm now.  I often wonder what that feels like for him.  I wonder if he'll someday be able to tell me the difference between the feeling in each arm.  We cannot tell a difference from the outside.  He has such strength in both arms that I sometimes forget that there is even a difference on the inside.  I am amazed at God's creation of our bodies.  Tiny capillaries took over the blood flow to his arm when his artery was sacrificed.  Simply amazing.  God allowed his body to know exactly how to compensate for such a major change.  I love to see such joy in a boy who has been through so much.  And I don't want to forget these moments or take them for granted that they are even allowed to happen.  John is our permanent, physical reminder of God's grace in our lives.  He shows His grace to all of us in infinite ways, but I will never cease to be thankful for the reminder this little boy brings every time I hold him.  It has changed Christmas for us.  It has made my love stronger for our God who came to rescue us in the form of a tiny baby who would grow to be a man who would tell all about our Father and His love for us.  He would grow to be our God in the body of a man who would sacrifice His life so that we may have true everlasting life.  He gave our son another chance to have physical life last Christmas.  And though I praise God for John's healing, my heart longs for his life to be saved yet again.  To have wholeness and healing that surgery can never bring his body. John still has issues with his heart that could possibly lead to another open heart surgery at some point.  I think of it often.  It makes my own heart physically ache and my stomach tighten.  But I know that our God is absolutely good not matter what.  I want John to have physical healing with every part of me, but not more than I pray for his spiritual healing.  December 23rd is the one year anniversary of his open heart surgery.  This year it happens to be on a Sunday.  We will be celebrating this special day with dedicating Elisabeth, Abigail, and John at church.  We can think of no way we would rather celebrate John's physical healing than by publicly praying over him and his sisters and proclaiming our desire for them to know and love and live for the Lord.  Their hearts for Him are our greatest desire.  Only then will any of their hearts be truly healed.  And we praise God that that is His desire too.

Leavin' On A Jet Plane

I have had this song stuck in my head all week, excitedly counting down the days until we fly to see friends and family in Texas! The day has finally arrived for us to head home...

The last time we were supposed to go home, our plans were suddenly and unexpectedly changed when instead of heading to the airport we were waiting for John to come out of heart surgery. We are so thankful to have had our plans changed in order to get him well. And we are so thankful he is well enough to be going home today. I have a feeling he is going to love Texas just as much as we do.

The Countdown

 

We've been anxiously counting down the days until we set foot on Texas soil!  It's been two years since Brian has been able to go back, a year and a half for the girls and I, and John has never been to Texas before.  That last one seems crazy to write, that as Texans we have a son who has never even been there! We can hardly wait to see our family and friends.  We will be spending a week with Brian's family before he heads back to Oregon and the kids and I head to visit my family for another week. We have great plans of soaking up every minute with our loved ones, resting and relaxing, and enjoying the beautiful sunshine and warmth of summer.

Because this week, IT IS COLD!

That's right, we are burning a fire today with the weather in the 50s.  I have a feeling we are going to melt when the 95 degree air hits our pale, long sleeved wearing skin.  I'm not sure we remember what Texas feels like anymore and sure hope we can handle it!  At least there's A/C!

We are so excited though, for our much needed time of rest and for just being in the presence of those we love most.  

5 days and counting!!

My Privilege

For months now I have been wanting to catch up here with life, to chronicle all that has been going on in our life, to journal this ride we are on.  So many months have passed since my last posting that I get a little overwhelmed in trying to fill in the missing pieces of the story between that post and now.  As today is Mother's Day, it seems appropriate to just jump back into the blogging world and fill in the pieces as I am able. 

Today I am running solo with the kids while Brian is on call.  The kids and I enjoyed a wonderful morning of teaching and fellowship at church before heading home on this beautiful day for lunch.  As we squint our eyes in the sunlight it seems like the rains of winter and spring may finally be behind us now.  All three of them are resting now, a rarity as of late with Elisabeth having outgrown the beloved nap.  Today, though, she was glad to take a nap.  A very fitting gift for today.  I do love to have some quiet time.

Since my last posting, life has evolved from the physical challenges of late pregnancy, to the sleep deprivation of the newborn stage, to the emotional ride of open heart surgery for our sweet boy at just two months and three weeks old, to three precious children sleeping through the night and taking a simultaneous afternoon nap today.  Our life of residency is extremely hectic and often lonely with Brian working about 100 hours a week, but the Lord has taught me how to adapt.  He has blessed me with the privilege of being a wife, a mother.  And I love it.  Even in the most difficult times, amidst the tears and lonely nights, despite the screams and crying and tantrums, I love being Brian's wife and I love being a mother to Elisabeth, Abigail, and John.

 

John.  What can I say about this precious boy, except that he is pure joy.  All of our children have been very happy, and John is no exception with his constant smile and excitement about him.  His demeanor is sweet and playful.  And he is healthy. It brings tears to my eyes to write that.  Tears of gratitude and joy.  What was once a weak heart and a diagnosis quite grim became more and more hopeful with more testing and ultimately a life saving surgery.  He has recovered beautifully and we fall more in love with him with each passing day. He is now seven months old.

Abigail is now a little over two years old and loves to make us laugh.  She is silly and naturally very funny.  She is in the full throws of being a two year old, but she is a delight to all of us.  She loves gaining her independence, but still loves for us to "hold you."  She loves to be near others and often pats the space beside her and requests, "Momma sit."  She and Elisabeth love to play and be together.

  It is one of my heart's delights to see Abigail sitting in Elisabeth's lap or to see them holding hands as they walk together.  Abigail is our little artist and can most often be found with paper and markers working on her latest masterpiece. 

Elisabeth turned five recently and has catapulted from late toddler hood to school age.  We have prayed long and hard for the last couple of years and sought wise counsel on schooling for Elisabeth and have decided to home school her for Kindergarten.  Her curriculum came in about a week and a half ago, and although I was planning to wait until late summer/early fall, she was so excited that she wanted to start right away.  So, since we have the flexibility to do so, we started last Monday.  And it was awesome!  She loved it, I loved it.  It fits our family so well.  She has loved having a more structured learning time and Abigail is even enjoying the greater structure given to her day.  Elisabeth is bright and vibrant and joyful.  She can turn anything into a song and the steps to her day are cheerfully choreographed. 

I am so blessed to have been given this gift of motherhood.  I am so thankful.  Though the mundane tasks of everyday life seek to cloud my memory and distract me from one of the most precious gifts the Lord could have ever given me, He is faithful to clear the fog and shine His light on my life to help me regain my focus.  It is then that I am overwhelmed in knowing that this is truly my joy and privilege.