Trust and Obey

The Lord's leading is so sweet and tender.  He is so patient and full of love.  He has been leading me for quite some time to follow Him in very specific ways, to trust and obey.  It is amazing how we can so quickly become wrapped up in seemingly simple things.  Very specifically the Lord has called me to delete my Facebook account and other social media accounts, to get rid of the things that have become a distraction from the most important things in life.  This is a very personal thing, not something that would necessarily apply to everyone.  But it applies to me.  I have found that I compare myself to every picture and every post, and I wonder all too often what others must be doing...because it must be better than what I'm doing at that moment.  Instead of reveling in the joys that God has placed before me I have allowed insecurities and boredom to cause me to focus on what could be instead of what is.  Instead of realizing that what I have is beautiful, I find myself looking for more.  I do not want to live that way.  I don't want to miss out on what God has given me.  Even the mundane.  So with sincerity of heart, I am stepping out to trust and obey what God is calling me to do.  To keep my eyes on Him and these precious ones He has entrusted to me.

So I Don't Forget

The girls have gone to round with Brian this morning and enjoy an especially sugary breakfast in the hospital cafeteria.  I love that spending precious time with their daddy makes them so excited.  John and I are enjoying the quiet morning with the fireplace roaring and Christmas music playing in the background.  The air outside is in the mid-30s and I am thankful for the heat building up inside from the crackling fire. John is exploring every corner of the house while I watch on with a hot chai latte in hand.  I love watching his boldness and determination as he curiously examines all that he can find.  He is already thoughtful in the way he holds up an object in my direction and grunts at me as if to ask if it's okay for him to have it.  Though, like any young child learning that they have their own will, he does not like to hear the word "no", but he is quick to listen and move on to "ask" if another object is okay to use.  I love learning more about him every day.  At this time of year especially, I am so thankful that he is here, that he is thriving.  Watching his little legs crawl with much greater speed than his sisters ever had doesn't worry me that he will be into everything, but makes me thankful that his body has the strength to move his legs at all.  I am amazed at the miracle of his surgery.  That the artery in his left arm was used to make his aorta stronger.  Because of this he has no pulse in his left arm now.  I often wonder what that feels like for him.  I wonder if he'll someday be able to tell me the difference between the feeling in each arm.  We cannot tell a difference from the outside.  He has such strength in both arms that I sometimes forget that there is even a difference on the inside.  I am amazed at God's creation of our bodies.  Tiny capillaries took over the blood flow to his arm when his artery was sacrificed.  Simply amazing.  God allowed his body to know exactly how to compensate for such a major change.  I love to see such joy in a boy who has been through so much.  And I don't want to forget these moments or take them for granted that they are even allowed to happen.  John is our permanent, physical reminder of God's grace in our lives.  He shows His grace to all of us in infinite ways, but I will never cease to be thankful for the reminder this little boy brings every time I hold him.  It has changed Christmas for us.  It has made my love stronger for our God who came to rescue us in the form of a tiny baby who would grow to be a man who would tell all about our Father and His love for us.  He would grow to be our God in the body of a man who would sacrifice His life so that we may have true everlasting life.  He gave our son another chance to have physical life last Christmas.  And though I praise God for John's healing, my heart longs for his life to be saved yet again.  To have wholeness and healing that surgery can never bring his body. John still has issues with his heart that could possibly lead to another open heart surgery at some point.  I think of it often.  It makes my own heart physically ache and my stomach tighten.  But I know that our God is absolutely good not matter what.  I want John to have physical healing with every part of me, but not more than I pray for his spiritual healing.  December 23rd is the one year anniversary of his open heart surgery.  This year it happens to be on a Sunday.  We will be celebrating this special day with dedicating Elisabeth, Abigail, and John at church.  We can think of no way we would rather celebrate John's physical healing than by publicly praying over him and his sisters and proclaiming our desire for them to know and love and live for the Lord.  Their hearts for Him are our greatest desire.  Only then will any of their hearts be truly healed.  And we praise God that that is His desire too.

Leavin' On A Jet Plane

I have had this song stuck in my head all week, excitedly counting down the days until we fly to see friends and family in Texas! The day has finally arrived for us to head home...

The last time we were supposed to go home, our plans were suddenly and unexpectedly changed when instead of heading to the airport we were waiting for John to come out of heart surgery. We are so thankful to have had our plans changed in order to get him well. And we are so thankful he is well enough to be going home today. I have a feeling he is going to love Texas just as much as we do.

The Countdown

 

We've been anxiously counting down the days until we set foot on Texas soil!  It's been two years since Brian has been able to go back, a year and a half for the girls and I, and John has never been to Texas before.  That last one seems crazy to write, that as Texans we have a son who has never even been there! We can hardly wait to see our family and friends.  We will be spending a week with Brian's family before he heads back to Oregon and the kids and I head to visit my family for another week. We have great plans of soaking up every minute with our loved ones, resting and relaxing, and enjoying the beautiful sunshine and warmth of summer.

Because this week, IT IS COLD!

That's right, we are burning a fire today with the weather in the 50s.  I have a feeling we are going to melt when the 95 degree air hits our pale, long sleeved wearing skin.  I'm not sure we remember what Texas feels like anymore and sure hope we can handle it!  At least there's A/C!

We are so excited though, for our much needed time of rest and for just being in the presence of those we love most.  

5 days and counting!!

My Privilege

For months now I have been wanting to catch up here with life, to chronicle all that has been going on in our life, to journal this ride we are on.  So many months have passed since my last posting that I get a little overwhelmed in trying to fill in the missing pieces of the story between that post and now.  As today is Mother's Day, it seems appropriate to just jump back into the blogging world and fill in the pieces as I am able. 

Today I am running solo with the kids while Brian is on call.  The kids and I enjoyed a wonderful morning of teaching and fellowship at church before heading home on this beautiful day for lunch.  As we squint our eyes in the sunlight it seems like the rains of winter and spring may finally be behind us now.  All three of them are resting now, a rarity as of late with Elisabeth having outgrown the beloved nap.  Today, though, she was glad to take a nap.  A very fitting gift for today.  I do love to have some quiet time.

Since my last posting, life has evolved from the physical challenges of late pregnancy, to the sleep deprivation of the newborn stage, to the emotional ride of open heart surgery for our sweet boy at just two months and three weeks old, to three precious children sleeping through the night and taking a simultaneous afternoon nap today.  Our life of residency is extremely hectic and often lonely with Brian working about 100 hours a week, but the Lord has taught me how to adapt.  He has blessed me with the privilege of being a wife, a mother.  And I love it.  Even in the most difficult times, amidst the tears and lonely nights, despite the screams and crying and tantrums, I love being Brian's wife and I love being a mother to Elisabeth, Abigail, and John.

 

John.  What can I say about this precious boy, except that he is pure joy.  All of our children have been very happy, and John is no exception with his constant smile and excitement about him.  His demeanor is sweet and playful.  And he is healthy. It brings tears to my eyes to write that.  Tears of gratitude and joy.  What was once a weak heart and a diagnosis quite grim became more and more hopeful with more testing and ultimately a life saving surgery.  He has recovered beautifully and we fall more in love with him with each passing day. He is now seven months old.

Abigail is now a little over two years old and loves to make us laugh.  She is silly and naturally very funny.  She is in the full throws of being a two year old, but she is a delight to all of us.  She loves gaining her independence, but still loves for us to "hold you."  She loves to be near others and often pats the space beside her and requests, "Momma sit."  She and Elisabeth love to play and be together.

  It is one of my heart's delights to see Abigail sitting in Elisabeth's lap or to see them holding hands as they walk together.  Abigail is our little artist and can most often be found with paper and markers working on her latest masterpiece. 

Elisabeth turned five recently and has catapulted from late toddler hood to school age.  We have prayed long and hard for the last couple of years and sought wise counsel on schooling for Elisabeth and have decided to home school her for Kindergarten.  Her curriculum came in about a week and a half ago, and although I was planning to wait until late summer/early fall, she was so excited that she wanted to start right away.  So, since we have the flexibility to do so, we started last Monday.  And it was awesome!  She loved it, I loved it.  It fits our family so well.  She has loved having a more structured learning time and Abigail is even enjoying the greater structure given to her day.  Elisabeth is bright and vibrant and joyful.  She can turn anything into a song and the steps to her day are cheerfully choreographed. 

I am so blessed to have been given this gift of motherhood.  I am so thankful.  Though the mundane tasks of everyday life seek to cloud my memory and distract me from one of the most precious gifts the Lord could have ever given me, He is faithful to clear the fog and shine His light on my life to help me regain my focus.  It is then that I am overwhelmed in knowing that this is truly my joy and privilege. 

Just Trying to Keep Up

The days and weeks and months have escaped me, busy with life and little ones. I am blessed beyond measure to have so much to fill my plate, but I don't want to forget it. I have been inspired by those who keep such great record of life while living it fully, and hope to try to keep up and remember to write it down or blog about it to do the same.

So, first thing's first: We found out in May that we will be having a little boy! We could not be more excited to be adding to our family and to be having a boy this time around. He has two sisters waiting to dote on him, a daddy ready to share his love of sports, and a mommy who is still trying to figure out just what to do with a boy! Don't get me wrong, I am completely excited about our boy. But I only have sisters and mostly girl cousins, so boys are a whole new world to me. But I can't wait to learn and grow as I become a mom to this little boy that God is giving us. I do know that I'm going to have to get over being a germophobe and learn to deal with dirt. The girls are breaking me in with that, but I have been told that boys take it to a whole new level. I can't wait, though!

Here is our boy at almost 21 weeks (I'm now almost 28 weeks; pictures below):


We have named him, but are waiting just a bit before sharing it with everyone to be absolutely sure. He is already so precious and we cannot wait to meet our boy!!

And now, for those of you who love the belly pictures, here is a picture of me today at almost 28 weeks:


I feel like I'm carrying him differently (higher) than the girls and also feel a little bigger, so for kicks I thought I'd do a little comparison:


Definitely looking a little bigger, I think! Hopefully he's not any bigger than Abigail was at a little over 8lbs. Elisabeth was just over 7lbs, so that would be even better. We will see in just several short weeks. We are looking forward to those weeks filled with summer and lots of sunshine, fun, and family visits that will bring a little bit of home to us here in the cool Northwest.

As I type this my shoulders are sunburned from many days spent outside, the windows are all open with a cool breeze blowing, Louis Armstrong is serenading us in the background, Elisabeth is talking and singing as she plays dress up, and Abigail is just waking from her nap. We have a full afternoon planned of running under the fruit trees in the backyard, picking ripe cherries to snack on, reading new library books from this morning's trip, and welcoming daddy home for a weekend that doesn't involve work. Life is full and beautiful, and although it's all going by in the blink of an eye, I am thankful for the energy to just keep up and enjoy every second.

The Love of My Life

Entreat me not to leave you,
Or to turn back from following after you;
For wherever you go, I will go;
And wherever you lodge, I will lodge;
Your people shall be my people,
And your God, my God.
Where you die, I will die,
And there will I be buried.
The Lord do so to me, and more also,
If anything but death parts you and me.

Ruth 1:16,17

(Our vows from March 17, 2005)

Today, Brian and I celebrate six years of marriage. He is the love of my life and a blessing beyond measure. I could not have dreamed of a better man to share this journey of life with. He is my best friend who makes me smile more, laugh harder, hope fervently, love deeply, and believe with a faith that grows stronger as we keep our eyes on Jesus together. Each day I am more grateful than the day before to be his wife. Six years, many moves, medical school, residency, and on our way to three children make this life, this marriage, beautiful and full. I could not ask for more.

Happy Anniversary, Brian. I am so in love with you.

Life

Life has been busy and full lately. It has been full of reality, of fun, of celebration. We celebrated Abigail's first birthday just before Valentine's Day and can hardly believe it has already been a year since we were blessed with meeting her. We had a small family celebration that carried over to celebrating Valentine's Day and then a much needed week off for Brian. We loved having him here all day every day.

But life as usual is full of residency for Brian. We are constantly adjusting and readjusting to Brian's ever changing schedule, but always cherish the moments we have with him. Days for us girls are full of routine that include a lot of eating, sleeping, playing, reading, learning, growing, wobbling (although Abigail is VERY close to walking), laughing, singing, and anything else that can go on with an almost four year old and one year old.

Did I mention reading? It's pretty much the most popular activity around here. We have bookshelves full of our own books with more bookshelves full of those checked out from the library. Abigail is developing her own love for books, so we keep all the board books low for her and the "paper" books, as Elisabeth calls them, on the shelves that only Elisabeth can reach. We can't get enough around here. And with Abigail wanting to do everything her big sister is doing, it's a good thing we have two copies of this particular book...


So not only is Abigail getting to read the same book as her sister, she's on her way to being a big sister herself! Our third little baby is on his/her way and due to arrive early October! We could not be more excited to meet this new little life!


Life has been busy and full lately. Full, in the most wonderful sense. We are blessed.

Random

Just for fun, I thought I would share a few random things about the girls:

Elisabeth

1. She has a fear of buttons. She won't wear them and she won't let us hold her if we have them on. I have no idea where she gets this from.
2. Her eyes are so dark that it's hard to see her pupils.
3. She has an amazing memory.
4. She absorbs every detail in life and then lives it out. We've found this to be good and bad.
5. She loves to sleep in a "Daddy shirt", but she calls it her dress.
6. She loves to wear dresses.
7. She loves to dance. Almost every "performance" begins with her hands on her hips and only her legs moving. Think Riverdance. She can't wait to start taking dance lessons again.
8. She has changed her name to Meg. We watched Little Women over Christmas and she decided she wanted to be the oldest sister, Meg.
9. She is almost 4 and still puts everything in her mouth.
10. She has a habit of biting her fingernails. So does her Dad.
11. When she helps me cook, she likes to pretend like she has her own cooking show.
12. She has pretended to graduate from college everyday since my youngest sister, Allyssa, graduated from Texas A&M last month. When she graduates, her name is Meg. She finishes the graduation ceremony with the Aggie War Hymn. Her version starts out, "Goodbye to dear old Texas Aggies." She won't let me teach her the real words because she says she knows how it goes.
13. She loves to sing, mostly making up the words as she goes.
14. David and Goliath is currently her favorite Bible story. I overheard her "reading" it yesterday and realized that she almost has it memorized out of her little Bible.
15. She loves to carry Abigail around.


Abigail

1. She does not like for Elisabeth to carry her around.
2. She's a screamer.
3. She loves to sleep.
4. She figured out how to pull the crib bumper down so that she can sleep on it like a pillow.
5. She loves to eat, but only by herself. Yogurt and oatmeal are the only things we can spoon feed her.
6. She's wearing 18 months tops and she's only 11 and a half months old.
7. She is a speedy little crawler, especially when we are coming toward her.
8. She's starting to stand on her own unassisted.
9. She loves to laugh. She'll start fake laughing just to get the rest of us laughing.
10. She is a snuggler. She loves to hug.
11. She is babbling a lot lately, A LOT. It makes Elisabeth laugh really hard. She may be more of a talker than Elisabeth!
12. She is a little choleric in getting her way, but when you tell her "no" she is extremely sensitive. She pouts her lip and starts to cry like you just ruined her world.
13. She loves to sing and dance to any beat. A song, Elisabeth singing, the hum of the dryer...
14. Her dancing consists mainly of head bobbing.
15. Like her sister, she always has a smile on her face.

Maybe It Was Just My Imagination

I think Abigail can talk.

Yes, I know she's supposed to be learning words, saying Mama, Dada, baby, etc., but we're into baby sign language around here and she's not really playing our game!

We taught Elisabeth sign language when she was just a baby and still use it today. It's fun to have another way to communicate and helpful when we are in a situation when we need to be quiet and still need that communication. She only knows basic words, so it's not like we could really communicate with someone that has signed all their life. But it was tremendously helpful when she was a baby and couldn't yet speak all the things she was trying to communicate to us. We love the Signing Time videos and watch them fairly regularly.

Several months ago, we began working with Abigail on more, please, and all done, just a few signs. It took Elisabeth until about 12 months for it all to click, so I wasn't expecting much when we first started with Abigail. Repetition and consistency were all we were focusing on so that Abigail would eventually have her moment to get it. She is 11 months and one week and we have yet to see a sign from her. But I'm not sure we're going to need it! Whenever I ask her if she wants more of something, I repeatedly show her the sign and then use her hands to make her do the sign and then I give her more of whatever it is she is wanting. She usually just stares at me, but a few times, in the middle of all of my, "More? More? More?" she will just say, "more." Oh. So you'll just talk to me? Well, okay. And today while we were trying please, she just stares at me while I'm doing my bit to convince her that it's great fun to copy me and says, "pease." Really?! I thought I just imagined it, but Elisabeth was laughing because she heard it too. So it appears that Abigail will just be talking to us instead of signing! We'll keep at it though, because it's so extremely helpful at this age. Plus it's a fun activity to do together and use in certain situations. Elisabeth is having fun trying to teach Abigail different signs. We're looking forward to her playing and learning along with us!


And while she may just skip over signing and go on to talking, her little body has been in no hurry to produce any teeth. Until yesterday!! At 11 months and one week, the girl finally has a tooth coming in! We love her gummy smile, but know those teeth will sure come in handy!


We are enjoying her so much more each day and love the interaction we have with her at this age. She loves to laugh, often randomly and dramatically laughing to get the rest of us going. She's quite the little character. She seems to be pretty laid back, yet knows exactly what she wants and will let you know if she's not getting it. She adores her big sister and fills all of our days with joy. We are so thankful for our Abigail Grace!

Reaping

"And let us not grow weary while doing good,
for in due season we shall reap if we do not lose heart."

Galatians 6:9

This is a verse that I cling to. It applies to every area of life, but for me it is a verse for motherhood. As mothers we pour our lives into the lives of our children. It can be exhausting while simulantiously being completely joyful. It can be frustrating yet beautiful all in the same moment. It is my dream job, yet the hardest thing I've ever done. Parenting is HARD. Being consistent is HARD. So many times I feel like I'm doing it all in vain, that it's not sinking in. But then the Lord allows a time of reaping. Elisabeth came to me recently, unprompted and said,

"Mommy, I did what you told me to! I wanted to obey you! I didn't want to disobey you! I wanted you to have a happy heart! I wanted God to have a happy heart!"

It was one of the proudest moments of my life. She got it! All that we are doing to teach her and help her in order to walk through this life and become the person God desires her to be has not been in vain. It was a sweet and beautiful moment and I want to remember it for ever. But thankfully we didn't just reap, but we are reaping. My Elisabeth is almost four and is becoming such a lovely little girl. She has always been a blessing and a joy, but there is something about how she is growing up and turning into this more mature little girl. Of course, she's still silly and VERY loud, but I think mature is the right word to describe who she is becoming. She is more thoughtful in her actions and polite and respectful with her speech. She is learning to treat others the way she would want to be treated. She is desiring good. She is desiring Jesus.

And oh, how I learn so much from her and from being her mom. Being a mother has given me a clearer picture of the love and desires the Lord has for me as His child. And by His abundant grace He fashioning me, chastening me, molding me to be more like Jesus. In turn I devote myself each day to point Elisabeth and Abigail to Him, and while I feel like I constantly fail, the Lord is faithful to work through me. He is pursuing them. But it is through my obedience to teach them and train them in the ways of the Lord that I, we (I'm so thankful to share all of this with Brian!) are blessed with a time of reaping.

And there is nothing more beautiful than to see someone's heart unfolding for the Lord.

Like a Weed

Our little AbbieG, as she is affectionately called, is a growing girl. All the cliches are true. It all just seems to go by in the blink of an eye. She turned nine months on the 10th and had a doctor's appointment the following day. She weighs 20 pounds (almost 90th percentile) and measured 28 and 3/4 inches long (75th percentile). She's loving her big girl food, but is still all gums. We keep thinking her teeth will make their appearances any day, but nothing so far. It's hard to keep her from standing these days.


As soon as we set her down she immediately scurries to the closest object she can pull herself up on. She then looks around so proud of herself as she stands up with the rest of us.


She's saying Mama and Dada a lot more and it seems she's doing it intentionally. She also screams (a lot...we're working on that) to get our attention.


Elisabeth still, of course, brings the brightest smile to her face. They love to play together and their laughing is infectious.


Abigail is a speedy little crawler.


If we come toward her she will almost always start crawling in the other direction as fast as she can while laughing.


I felt like I was playing defense tonight while Elisabeth and I were trying to get her to crawl into the living room. It always makes us laugh. She moves a lot faster than I remember Elisabeth doing, but I suppose she's just trying to keep up with her big sister.

She is such a joy in our lives and we love each day with her.

The Simple Things in Life

I've mentioned before that I thoroughly enjoy having a fireplace and subsequently a fire to go in it. We were just blessed with an abundance of firewood, and yes, to me, it is worth blogging about! There is just something about the simplicity of sitting in front of a fire listening to the crackle of the wood burning and feeling the warmth on my cheeks. I love everything from the smell to watching the flames dance about. I love the accomplishment of building it into a raging fire that makes the entire house feel cozy. It just does something to make the atmosphere more enjoyable. It creates a certain ambiance that I love. The firewood was delivered a few days ago and dumped on our driveway.

The rainy season is underway, so my little helper and I had a job to do to get it all stacked in a dry spot. My littlest helper was thankfully taking a nap...that was the best way she could help any way! So I put Elisabeth in charge of the kindling and off we went. I've honestly never done that before, and as my husband will tell you, I've come A LONG WAY to stack an entire cord of wood by myself!


I was quite proud of myself for completing such a big task, but I was more excited to have been given this blessing and to know that we will be able to enjoy a warm fire all winter. Such a simple thing, but such great joy!!


Now, if only there was a little snow to go with it... ;)

Confession:

I am very detail oriented and thus easily overwhelmed. Too many details make my mind spin, yet I care deeply about the details. This has caused many a problem throughout my life. I have not blogged simply because I want to share every detail that has happened since we moved here almost six months ago. But each time I think of all there is to share in this neglected blog of mine I get considerably overwhelmed. And as hard as this is going to be for me, I've just decided to get over it and move on and share our life NOW...otherwise I might never blog again! Yes, I also have procrastination issues, but I'll just confess one thing at a time! ;)

So, right now...

We are loving the Oregon fall



and admiring all that God has created.



We are having fun decorating for the season.


We are loving the cold weather that warrants the use of our fireplace.


Brian is busy being SuperDad



while simultaneously getting a lot of hands on training in residency! ;)


We are loving our church here and are growing in the Lord. Our backyard is a beautiful and peaceful place to have some quiet time with the Lord.


We are praising Him for all that He has done and continues to do in our lives.


We WERE spending many days at the park behind our house. The rain has started, so this will just be for memory's sake!





Abigail is eating big girl food.



She still prefers to sleep with a blanket over her face...she does that all on her own now!


Abigail is officially EVERYWHERE! She's crawling and pulling up on anything that will support her. I think Elisabeth was only a warm up to all that Abigail will be! She's feisty and ornery, yet so sweet and tender. She is a blessing beyond measure!



Elisabeth is growing up so fast. She is so quickly approaching four...FOUR!! She loves dresses and loud, "fancy" shoes. She's becoming such a precious little (big!) girl.


I am so proud of the girl she is becoming. It blesses us to see God at work in her life. To see her heart flourishing each day for Him is more than we could ask for.


She loves learning and we have "school" often. We're not regular about it yet, but becoming more so. Her memory amazes me! She is already trying to memorize books as I read them to her so she can "read" them herself later on. She has learned all of the basic sounds to her letters and can write several of her letters well. We have fun sounding out words together, and I've caught her a couple of times sounding words out on her own. She's a smarty pants!


Elisabeth and Abigail spend endless hours playing and laughing together. Elisabeth has already been saying that Abigail is her best friend. I am so grateful they have each other and love being sisters. They are precious together and bring Brian and I more joy than we could have ever imagined!







We cherish having weekly family movie nights. It's always a big deal and involves setting up the air mattress in the living room with lots of pillows and blankets, pizza, chocolate milk, a "special treat", and a thoughtfully chosen kid-friendly movie. We always have so much fun and look forward to this special time with Daddy each week.


We are loving our little family of four and so grateful to be here in Oregon. We love it here! We love the weather, the scenery, the mountains, the forests, the ocean, our new friends, our new church, the abundant fresh fruits and vegetables, the local berry farms and orchards, having our own fruit trees and herb garden, our neighbors, our community...I could go on and on! Now if we can just convince our families to move up here... :)



But, right now...above all, we are THANKFUL!